Right, I'm going to lower the tone and talk about icky things. Specifically boobs. Sorry but I need to get it off my chest - oh, sorry......That was poor. I know. Anyway, guys, avert your eyes, if there is certain information you just don't need to know, it's not that kind of boob talk!
I've since started putting it down to old age, and carting Mairi around, but a couple of years ago I started getting really stiff down my left side, accompanied with a kind of lumpiness in my left boob. Nothing very clearly defined, and always worse before certain times of the month, but lumpy bits are never good, and after a few months of hypochondriachal obsessing, I decided to go and get it checked out, supposedly for peace of mind.
We lived in Onomichi at the time, so I went to the general hospital there, which I was told was the best place to get mammograms. The doctor I saw was a woman, which somehow made me feel better, given the feeling around that was inevitably to follow. So she has a feel, saying encouraging things like 'I can't feel anything, but you know it's hard to tell with young people" . Then she gets the ultrasound machine on the case, and it's " look, all this is fat, lots of it, isn't there? You need to go away and lose some weight", in a very direct and judgmental tone ( Why is it that thin people so frequently seem to think you are not aware you're overweight?And that if they let you know, that only then will you realise and finally do something about it??). "No, I can't see anything, but it doesn't mean there's nothing there, so let's do the mammography".
Mind is definitely not at ease here.
So I wait another hour to get the mammogram, and get called back in. She's sitting at her desk looking at the X rays, turns to me and says (as if she was asking a colleague for an opinion) " Not sure about this...."
Major shock and panic invades brain.
Doc: "Hmmmm. What shall we do for the best?......."
Me: "Pardon?"
Doc: "Well, it's probably nothing. Look here, there's a kind of vague white shadow here. Hmmmmm. Sometimes on the vertical pictures the mammary glands are directly in front of each other and they double up making it look really white. ..... yeah, that's probably what it is..." (all very matter of fact and almost as if bored)
Me: "....erm... if it's not that, what else could it be?"
Doc: "Oh , hahaha, it could be something bad....(euphemism for cancer, and yes she actually laughed)
Me: "!!!!?????" (facially)
Doc: "It's probably not though, you're still quite young, so don't worry. Come back in 3 months if you're worried, and we 'll have another look. If it's the same it's no problem, if it's worse we'll know."
Me: " .......OK then."
She was brusque, verging on the sarcastic, overly matter of fact on a professional level, and downright rude on a personal level. Not exactly desirable qualities in a health care professional, who may well be the one delivering the worst news you might ever hear.
So that was the chalk. Now the cheese.
A month or so of major worry and paranoic waiting to see if I already had cancer passed, and then a friend recommended that I go and get a second opinion at the clinic she went to in the city. Great advice as it turned out. He totally reassured me in a very professional manner in about 5 minutes and sent me on my way. A case of post breastfeeding mastitis.
Visiting Dr Nimoto's clinic is brilliant, if it's possible to enjoy going to get your boobs checked for a fatal disease.
The first delight is the receptionist. Obviously the queen of her domain, she's fantastic. Like the Granny from Totoro, a fishwife, a snack "Mama"and an old fashioned "Matron" from a Carry On film all rolled into one. She must be at least 75. You are in no doubt that IF you get as far as the doctor, it's only because she liked you enough. Based on her interrogation of your personal life, which somehow you don't mind.
Then there's the waiting room, about 50cm across, decorated with gloriously gilt framed works of art by the doctor himself, and other great "objets".
When you get to see the man who has apparently been palpating the boobs of a large number of the ladies of Hiroshima for many years, you first think you are being seen in the corridor, the clinic is so crammed into the attic of Fukuya department store. But then you find out that there is a reason why he is so popular. Our conversation this morning, when I went back for a check-up, thinking it was about time:
Doc: OK it's been a couple of years, so we'll do this: I'll check you manually if you don't mind, then we'll have a look with the ultrasound, then we 'll do the mammogram"
Holding up fingers 1, 2 and 3 as he speaks.
He examines me, all the while explaining softly and politely how and how not, and how often to do it yourself, and what you would feel if you did have a problem, which you don't seem to. The only "crime" if you like was telling me how big my boobs were a few times, (as if I didn't know!), but even that was said in a tone that suggested scientific awe at the specimen, rather than any value judgment- haha! I felt compelled to apologise for the increased workload I presented him with . "No, no, it's a good thing isn't it!" OK, we won't pursue this line.
Doc: " Now look at the screen. This is your skin, and this white cloudy area is what perfectly normal breast tissue looks like. These are the glands, and if there was any problem tissue it would look like this (points to a strip of vividly white colour at the side of the screen). There's
nothing like that there, is there? OK, let's look at the other side. (Same story). OK that looks fine, but it's a good idea to do the mammography as it gives us a clearer picture".
So my boobs go into the vise. Incidentally, everyone says this really hurts, but just in case you've never done it, I think this is one area where more than a handful is a bonus. Can't say it bothered me. Just to put your mind at ease....
Back in the corridor....
"OK look. You do not have any cancer, but let me explain the x-rays anyway...."
Again, clear and specific explanations followed of what you might see if there was a problem, and his first priority was to make it clear that there was nothing to worry about.
It's amazing the difference between the two doctors' styles. You would have thought that a woman would have more empathy. But for such a personally sensitive issue, I'll take Dr Nimoto any time. If some day I have to get the not-so-good verdict, I'd rather have it from a male doctor in tune with the feelings of the patient he's dealing with, than like a slap in the face from a female!
As a wee surreal post script to the visit; the immaculately groomed elderly lady who was in before me, passed by on her way out as I was waiting for the results of the scan.
"Hello, (no preamble) how do you say "お先に失礼します”in English?"
"Hmmm, that's a hard one, we don't really say that in the same situation. Maybe just "Goodbye, have a good day" " Or "See you later then" (It literally means something like " I am impertinently leaving before you", but in a good way haha)
" OK, how about ごちそうさまでした？”
" Hmmm, again, we'd probably say something different, like" That was wonderful, thank you" or "Compliments to the Chef!"
"And いただきます?"
"Same thing, there isn't a perfect equivalent. Japanese has great oneliners for these situations, doesn't it!"
"The French say "Bon Appetit", right?"
"Yes, we say that in English too sometimes, we just use the French"
"That means a "small good thing" right? Petit, right?"
"Erm , no it's "appetit" , it means "食欲" "
"Oh really? Merci Beaucoup!"
And then she left......
Brilliant.
Don't worry, I'll save my OB/GYN stories for private chats.....
In case you're in Hiroshima, and considering getting a check up:
Nimoto Clinic is on the 11th floor of Fukuya Department Store, Hatchobori. Phone number: 082-246-6650, and it's completely by appointment, and very popular, so no walk-ins. I didn't think to ask if he speaks English, but I would guess not much.
I've since started putting it down to old age, and carting Mairi around, but a couple of years ago I started getting really stiff down my left side, accompanied with a kind of lumpiness in my left boob. Nothing very clearly defined, and always worse before certain times of the month, but lumpy bits are never good, and after a few months of hypochondriachal obsessing, I decided to go and get it checked out, supposedly for peace of mind.
We lived in Onomichi at the time, so I went to the general hospital there, which I was told was the best place to get mammograms. The doctor I saw was a woman, which somehow made me feel better, given the feeling around that was inevitably to follow. So she has a feel, saying encouraging things like 'I can't feel anything, but you know it's hard to tell with young people" . Then she gets the ultrasound machine on the case, and it's " look, all this is fat, lots of it, isn't there? You need to go away and lose some weight", in a very direct and judgmental tone ( Why is it that thin people so frequently seem to think you are not aware you're overweight?And that if they let you know, that only then will you realise and finally do something about it??). "No, I can't see anything, but it doesn't mean there's nothing there, so let's do the mammography".
Mind is definitely not at ease here.
So I wait another hour to get the mammogram, and get called back in. She's sitting at her desk looking at the X rays, turns to me and says (as if she was asking a colleague for an opinion) " Not sure about this...."
Major shock and panic invades brain.
Doc: "Hmmmm. What shall we do for the best?......."
Me: "Pardon?"
Doc: "Well, it's probably nothing. Look here, there's a kind of vague white shadow here. Hmmmmm. Sometimes on the vertical pictures the mammary glands are directly in front of each other and they double up making it look really white. ..... yeah, that's probably what it is..." (all very matter of fact and almost as if bored)
Me: "....erm... if it's not that, what else could it be?"
Doc: "Oh , hahaha, it could be something bad....(euphemism for cancer, and yes she actually laughed)
Me: "!!!!?????" (facially)
Doc: "It's probably not though, you're still quite young, so don't worry. Come back in 3 months if you're worried, and we 'll have another look. If it's the same it's no problem, if it's worse we'll know."
Me: " .......OK then."
She was brusque, verging on the sarcastic, overly matter of fact on a professional level, and downright rude on a personal level. Not exactly desirable qualities in a health care professional, who may well be the one delivering the worst news you might ever hear.
So that was the chalk. Now the cheese.
A month or so of major worry and paranoic waiting to see if I already had cancer passed, and then a friend recommended that I go and get a second opinion at the clinic she went to in the city. Great advice as it turned out. He totally reassured me in a very professional manner in about 5 minutes and sent me on my way. A case of post breastfeeding mastitis.
Visiting Dr Nimoto's clinic is brilliant, if it's possible to enjoy going to get your boobs checked for a fatal disease.
The first delight is the receptionist. Obviously the queen of her domain, she's fantastic. Like the Granny from Totoro, a fishwife, a snack "Mama"and an old fashioned "Matron" from a Carry On film all rolled into one. She must be at least 75. You are in no doubt that IF you get as far as the doctor, it's only because she liked you enough. Based on her interrogation of your personal life, which somehow you don't mind.
Then there's the waiting room, about 50cm across, decorated with gloriously gilt framed works of art by the doctor himself, and other great "objets".
When you get to see the man who has apparently been palpating the boobs of a large number of the ladies of Hiroshima for many years, you first think you are being seen in the corridor, the clinic is so crammed into the attic of Fukuya department store. But then you find out that there is a reason why he is so popular. Our conversation this morning, when I went back for a check-up, thinking it was about time:
Doc: OK it's been a couple of years, so we'll do this: I'll check you manually if you don't mind, then we'll have a look with the ultrasound, then we 'll do the mammogram"
Holding up fingers 1, 2 and 3 as he speaks.
He examines me, all the while explaining softly and politely how and how not, and how often to do it yourself, and what you would feel if you did have a problem, which you don't seem to. The only "crime" if you like was telling me how big my boobs were a few times, (as if I didn't know!), but even that was said in a tone that suggested scientific awe at the specimen, rather than any value judgment- haha! I felt compelled to apologise for the increased workload I presented him with . "No, no, it's a good thing isn't it!" OK, we won't pursue this line.
Doc: " Now look at the screen. This is your skin, and this white cloudy area is what perfectly normal breast tissue looks like. These are the glands, and if there was any problem tissue it would look like this (points to a strip of vividly white colour at the side of the screen). There's
nothing like that there, is there? OK, let's look at the other side. (Same story). OK that looks fine, but it's a good idea to do the mammography as it gives us a clearer picture".
So my boobs go into the vise. Incidentally, everyone says this really hurts, but just in case you've never done it, I think this is one area where more than a handful is a bonus. Can't say it bothered me. Just to put your mind at ease....
Back in the corridor....
"OK look. You do not have any cancer, but let me explain the x-rays anyway...."
Again, clear and specific explanations followed of what you might see if there was a problem, and his first priority was to make it clear that there was nothing to worry about.
It's amazing the difference between the two doctors' styles. You would have thought that a woman would have more empathy. But for such a personally sensitive issue, I'll take Dr Nimoto any time. If some day I have to get the not-so-good verdict, I'd rather have it from a male doctor in tune with the feelings of the patient he's dealing with, than like a slap in the face from a female!
As a wee surreal post script to the visit; the immaculately groomed elderly lady who was in before me, passed by on her way out as I was waiting for the results of the scan.
"Hello, (no preamble) how do you say "お先に失礼します”in English?"
"Hmmm, that's a hard one, we don't really say that in the same situation. Maybe just "Goodbye, have a good day" " Or "See you later then" (It literally means something like " I am impertinently leaving before you", but in a good way haha)
" OK, how about ごちそうさまでした？”
" Hmmm, again, we'd probably say something different, like" That was wonderful, thank you" or "Compliments to the Chef!"
"And いただきます?"
"Same thing, there isn't a perfect equivalent. Japanese has great oneliners for these situations, doesn't it!"
"The French say "Bon Appetit", right?"
"Yes, we say that in English too sometimes, we just use the French"
"That means a "small good thing" right? Petit, right?"
"Erm , no it's "appetit" , it means "食欲" "
"Oh really? Merci Beaucoup!"
And then she left......
Brilliant.
Don't worry, I'll save my OB/GYN stories for private chats.....
In case you're in Hiroshima, and considering getting a check up:
Nimoto Clinic is on the 11th floor of Fukuya Department Store, Hatchobori. Phone number: 082-246-6650, and it's completely by appointment, and very popular, so no walk-ins. I didn't think to ask if he speaks English, but I would guess not much.
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