I have just hoovered my entire house and washed my floor by my good self for the first time in over a year and this has led me to want to say a few things.
1)
To the person, who when confronted with the suggestion that white flooring tiles would be a stylish way to finish off the simple modern look of my living room the size of a small aeroplane hanger said "Yes Jax, that is a great idea!": I know where you live and I am coming to find you, and show you what we do in Scotland to people who do bad things.
2)
I think I have just, in one morning, burned off all the calories I would have used had I actually gone to the gym I have been paying the ¥10,000 monthly subscription for for the past 6 months.
3)
To Mika Tanaka, who has been doing this job for me once a week for the past year, with the excuse that I am a working mother who also is the commandant for the PTA and couldn't possibly do it myself I'm so busy (!?): remind me to pay you a million yen a week, it would be worth it, despite the fact that you unreasonably demanded 2 weeks off at the only time of the year when I have parties and actually need the house to be clean. (Please no-one actually tell her I said this)
4)
To the person who invented that white stuff that looks like polystyrene fire lighters but actually removes grime without even touching it: may you find your reward in heaven where you will be serviced eternally by women who had to wash their own white floors for entire marriages before they died.
5)
To Mairi and Yasu: may you enjoy the rest of the meals of your lives, which will be served outside on the balcony from now on, in all weathers and seasons, where you will not be able to dirty my floor.
6)
To my employers: thank you for making it possible for me to justify not washing my own floor every week.
7)
If that is the amount of dirt and yuch that came of my white floor that gets washed once a week , god knows how disgusting the floors are downstairs, which thankfully are not are not white, therefore I can't see the dirt, therefore obviously I don't have to wash them.
8)
To Mr Dyson: there were amazing attachments in the bag that I hadn't even known existed. See point 4). It was almost as good as my Watashi no Heya Lucky Bag.
OK, now I've got all that off my chest, I'll wish you a happy new year, and express my intent to speak less shite on facebook and twitter in 2010, and try and update the blogs instead, since the intent was for my daughter to have a record of her early years, and 2009 was a bit of a blank.
Oh well...best laid plans....
And no-one come round for a while to dirty my floor.
1)
To the person, who when confronted with the suggestion that white flooring tiles would be a stylish way to finish off the simple modern look of my living room the size of a small aeroplane hanger said "Yes Jax, that is a great idea!": I know where you live and I am coming to find you, and show you what we do in Scotland to people who do bad things.
2)
I think I have just, in one morning, burned off all the calories I would have used had I actually gone to the gym I have been paying the ¥10,000 monthly subscription for for the past 6 months.
3)
To Mika Tanaka, who has been doing this job for me once a week for the past year, with the excuse that I am a working mother who also is the commandant for the PTA and couldn't possibly do it myself I'm so busy (!?): remind me to pay you a million yen a week, it would be worth it, despite the fact that you unreasonably demanded 2 weeks off at the only time of the year when I have parties and actually need the house to be clean. (Please no-one actually tell her I said this)
4)
To the person who invented that white stuff that looks like polystyrene fire lighters but actually removes grime without even touching it: may you find your reward in heaven where you will be serviced eternally by women who had to wash their own white floors for entire marriages before they died.
5)
To Mairi and Yasu: may you enjoy the rest of the meals of your lives, which will be served outside on the balcony from now on, in all weathers and seasons, where you will not be able to dirty my floor.
6)
To my employers: thank you for making it possible for me to justify not washing my own floor every week.
7)
If that is the amount of dirt and yuch that came of my white floor that gets washed once a week , god knows how disgusting the floors are downstairs, which thankfully are not are not white, therefore I can't see the dirt, therefore obviously I don't have to wash them.
8)
To Mr Dyson: there were amazing attachments in the bag that I hadn't even known existed. See point 4). It was almost as good as my Watashi no Heya Lucky Bag.
OK, now I've got all that off my chest, I'll wish you a happy new year, and express my intent to speak less shite on facebook and twitter in 2010, and try and update the blogs instead, since the intent was for my daughter to have a record of her early years, and 2009 was a bit of a blank.
Oh well...best laid plans....
And no-one come round for a while to dirty my floor.
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